All or Nothing
by Hell-and-bliss
Summary: Post Episode 5x12 "Death Gone Crazy". Lanie and Kate are ready to enjoy a good dinner in their favorite Italian restaurant, but they're not the only one having this idea...Javier Esposito is there too, on a date... with Scarlet Jones. Espo/Lanie. Lanie/Kate, Kate/Javier. ESPLANIE ALL THE WAY.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! Here's my new Esplanie thing...Well, not that new...Already wrote it a few months ago, and published it in French, but as I know some of my Esplanie shippers friends don't speak French, I decided to translate it. Hope all the readers who will try this story will like it :)**

**Actually, since Esposito was on a date with Scarlet Jones in 5x12 and invited Lanie for Valentine's day in 5x14, I thought something was missing...because it was too easy...So I came with this story. Also wanted to see Kate supporting Lanie, instead of always having Lanie supporting Kate in the show...  
**

**Hope you'll like it!**

**Love Espo and Lanie together...soooooo much!**

**Enjoy, and I apologize for my English since I'm not bilingual...but I try my best ;)**

ALL OR NOTHING

« God, I thought this day would never end ! » Lanie Parish sighed, as she stepped out of the cab she and Kate Beckett called just after a long day of work. It was almost 8pm, and the two good friends used to go dinner in their favorite Italian restaurant each Friday night, when of course, their schedules allowed them to do so.

« And it can't stop rainning… » Lanie muttered, opening her umbrella.

"Yeah…" Kate sighed as she quickly eyed the sky, while stepping out of the car.

A few seconds later, they entered the cute and charming restaurant. Lanie closed her umbrella as Kate eyed all around her, with a smile. She loved the place, and Lanie too. Not only because it had the best Italian food of New York, but also because the waiters always used to offer them their favorite drink. A lovely song of Pink Martini made her smile even more. It was quite a long time since she didn't have had any free time to enjoy a nice dinner with Lanie, and she was sure that was gonna be a perfect night to catch up on the latest news in her friend's life.

Kate's smile widened as she spotted a free table near the window, her favorite area in the whole restaurant. She kept eying all around her, when suddendly, she stopped smiling. Without bliking, she kept looking at a table, at the bottom of the restaurant's room…It was a familiar face, and ever more familiar to Lanie. Kate only could see the back of the girl he was with, but she did recognize the guy perfectly. Latino, handsome, with a charming smile…Javier Esposito. A few seconds later, she even recognized the girl he was with…None other than Scarlet Jones, the body guard girl of their current case.

Kate swallowed and muttered a small "oh no" near-silent, then turned to Lanie, who luckily did not see anything.

"Lanie, actually…Do you mind if we try another restaurant?"

Lanie raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me? Why?! It's our favorite place!"

Kate nodded.

"I know but you could try something else for a change, right?»She added, determined to prevent another tragedy.

Lanie looked at her friend intensely, getting suspicious.

« Okay, Kate Beckett…what's happening ? It took us almost forty minutes to get there with the damn traffic, it's pouring outside, and you wanna leave already? » Lanie summarized, surprised.

"Besides, there's even a free table in the…."

Lanie couldn't finish her sentence. Her eyes froze as she looked further. Kate closed her eyes and bit her lips... Too late. Lanie just spotted Esposito and his date.

"Oh." she stammered, still looking at them.

« Lanie… » Kate sighed with a soft voice, as she tried to grab her friend's arm.

«You saw him already, right ? » The ME coldly asked.

« A few seconds ago…I'm sorry…"

«And you wouldn't tell me...»

"I didn't wanna hurt you...I'm sorry...I have no idea of what he's doing here… »

Lanie couldn't help and laughed.

« Oh that's pretty clear… »

The way Esposito was smiling at that girl actually broke her heart more than she expected.

« Who's that girl anyway ? »

« It's a girl from our case, Scarlet Jones… » Kate replied.

Lanie raised her eyebrows again.

« A girl from your case…You mean like a potential suspect ? »

« Yes…well we're not sure… But whatever. Come on, Lanie let's go…we don't have to see this…Let's find another place to have dinner, okay ?» Kate asked, as she tried one more time to grab Lanie's arm. But the ME didn't move. She couldn't take her eyes off of Esposito.

That's when Esposito and Scarlet rose from their chairs, grabbed their coats respectively, while continuing their conversation with both a big smile on their faces.

« Oh my…Looks like they're leaving their table…they're….they're coming to us ! » Lanie stammered.

« Even a better reason to leave…» Kate said as her eyes widened. The detective actually feared a confrontation between her friend and the Latin guy, who had both strong characters… But it seemed like Lanie couldn't move at all…She was completely paralyzed.

When Javier Esposito realized who actually was standing ten meters away in front of him, he couldn't even listen to the end of the sentence pronounced by Scarlet at the moment. He even stopped walking, and opened his mouth, paralyzed to see them. Kate and Lanie. But it was seeing Lanie that had made him speechless. He didn't expect to see her there, standing in front of him ... and god, how beautiful she was... He swallowed.

That evening, the gorgeous M.E was wearing a rather low-cut gold dress she had worn for him in the past. Too many precious memories came back in his mind… Her long black hair was slightly wavy and her beautiful black and deep eyes were stuck on him, making him shivering everywhere.

Like him, she couldn't blink anymore. As he wasn't walking anymore, Scarlet turned to him after a few seconds and frowned.

« You okay ? » she quickly asked. Javier needed a few seconds to realize she had asked him a question.

« Yes, I'm…I'm good. » he lied with a smile, as he started to walk again. But he still couldn't look away from Lanie. And he couldn't avoid her and Kate, since they were standing just on the way they had to take to leave the restaurant.

When Javier and Scarlet arrived right in front of the girls, the silence remained a few seconds, until Javier talked.

"... Hi. "he mumbled still staring Lanie so deeply that Kate wondered if he had seen that she was there too.

« Detective Beckett ! » Scarlet Jones smiled, surprised.

« Hi Mrs Jones.. » politely answered Kate, even though she was incredibly ill at ease while Lanie and Esposito couldn't stop staring at each other.

Then, Scarlet's cell phone started ringing, breaking the awkward silent, and the body guard quickly touched Javier's shoulder.

« Can't miss that…I'll be right back. » she told him, her hand still on his shoulder, and Lanie wanted to kill her for that.

Scarlet left them, and Kate wish she could escape as well of this awkward situation. Besides, Lanie and Espo were still eying each other, tirelessly.

"Me too I… have to…call Castle.." Kate stammered, showing them her Iphone. But they didn't even look at her and clearly, they didn't care.

When it finally was just the two of them, they remained silent a few more seconds, before Lanie decided to break the awkward silence.

"So…I can see you're enjoying some good company…Model I presume?" She smiled, folding her arms.

Javier sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Scarlet is a body guard. We met during the Beau Randolf case…."

"I don't care about all the details." Lanie abruptly stopped him. "Wait…a body guard, huh?" she added, eying Scarlett again, as she was still on the phone a few meters away.

"Isn't she a little thin to be a body guard?" Lanie scornfully mocked her.

Javier rolled his eyes again.

« Listen, Lanie… »

« No I don't wanna listen anything from you. All I can see is that…things don't change. » she stammered.

This time, Esposito frowned.

« What the hell is that supposed to mean, Lanie ?! I should stop liking other girls just because we're not dating anymore, but you still want me in your bed ?! »

Lanie's eyes widened. She didn't have expected that kind of answer from him...and Lanie didn't like the tone of his voice, clearly showing he was starting to get mad. But so was she.

« You know what? I don't think I wanna be with a guy who just wanna have sex with pretty much all the girls he can see around him, and who even flirts with women he meets during criminal cases…and I even less wanna be with a guy taking his new girlfriends to the favorite restaurant of his _ex_ girlfriend…How sweet of you. » she laughed, sarcastic.

« She was the one suggesting this place. » he retorded. « Besides she's not my new girlfriend. »

Lanie rolled her eyes.

« Anyway, your date. »

« Not my date. »

Lanie eyed him.

« How stupid do you think I am, Javi? So you mean it's a professional meeting ? Not with that low-cut outfit she's wearing, honey. » she laughed again, eying Scarlett one more time.

Esposito sighed.

« Lanie, stop it. And why do you care that much anyway ? You dumped me. Almost two years ago now. Already forgot that ? »

« Nope I didn't…Actually I wonder why I didn't dump you earlier… »

Of course she didn't mean it...but she was too mad at him.

"Right..." Esposito laughed. «That's why you're still crazy jealous right now ? »

Her dark gaze almost killed him.

«Javier Esposito, don't you dare saying I'm crazy jealous again. »

« What if you are ? »

« I am NOT jealous. »

Esposito sighed, nodded and started smiling.

« Of course you're not. You're just making a big deal of me with a girl on a date in a restaurant because you're NOT jealous. Makes sense.»

She glared at him, with her darkest eyes again.

« Okay you know what ? I don't get why I'm still losing my time with you. » she barked, hurted by this conversation and situation.

« Me neither.» was all he retorted, without even looking at her.

« I'm out of here…Enjoy your night. » was the last words she said, before she left the restaurant, quicker than a tornado, and without even checking on Kate.

In a corner, Detective Beckett, who secretly watched the whole scene with Castle on the phone, hang up on him before he could actually finish his sentence.

« Lanie ! » she yelled, as she started running. When she was near Esposito, she stopped and gave him a killer look.

« Congratulations. »

Javier's eyes widened.

« What the hell did I do ?! »

« Oh because I have to explain you now? »

« I didn't do anything wrong here…Not my fault if Lanie freaked out. She's too lunatic sometimes…»

Kate rolled her eyes.

« I like you Javi, I really do…But keep hurting Lanie like that, and I'll kick your ass. »

Esposito frowned.

« How can I hurt her anyway ? She was the one breaking up with me. »

Again, Kate gave him the look.

« You don't get anything about women, do you ? »

Javier sighed and run a hand through his short hair. He already regretted his confrontation with Lanie.

« I'm kinda lost here… »

Seeing how affected he was, Kate quickly touched him arm.

« Do you still…feel something about Lanie ? »

« You know I do. It's just…crazy complicated since we broke up…she's been acting weird and, I really don't understand what she wants from me. »

Kate nodded in a shy smile.

« I know… Relationships can be tough. »

« What should I do ? »

Kate shrugged.

« Nothing for tonight. I'll talk to her. »

She smiled at him one more time and left the restaurant, hoping that Lanie would have waited for her outside and wasn't already gone.

Javier watched Kate leaving and closed his eyes in a deep sigh. He couldn't believe he had a fight with Lanie Parish again. Another one…

« Something wrong ? »

Javier opened his eyes. Scarlet was back, with still her lovely eyes and beautiful smile. As sad as he was, he smiled back.

« No…I mean…just an argument with… »

« Detective Beckett ? » Scarlet asked, arching an eyebrow.

Esposito shook his head.

« With the other woman who was with her. »

« A girlfriend ? » the body guard asked with a suspicious smile.

« Ex girlfriend would be more accurate. » Javier clarified, still disappointed to admit that that was Lanie was to him now…just an ex.

« Well, given your reaction and the way you looked at her…it doesn't seems like she's an ex at all. » She answered as she put on her coat.

Javier started at her a few seconds, a little surprised and smiled even more.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked him.

Esposito had a quick, almost nervous laugh.

"That wouldn't be…weird?!"

« What…to talk about your ex ? No... » Scarlet smiled. « Look, I like you, Javier, and I can see you like me too, but we don't have to go to my place… We just can go back to our table, ordering a dessert, and…just talk? I'm pretty sure ice cream doesn't only fix girls' broken hearts." She joked.

Esposito couldn't help but laughed and shrugged.

« Sure. We can do that. »

**TBC!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks guys for reading and reviewing! Here's the new chapter. Hope you'll like :) It's getting a little dramatic lol.**

The door of Lanie Parish's appartment opened in a crash. The way back in the taxi had passed in dead silence between her and Kate. Sometimes, Kate could hear Lanie sniffing quietly in the car. But once she was back at home, the M.E looked way angrier than sad.

After throwing her bag and cloak on the couch, Lanie turned to Kate, tears dripping on her face.

"I hate that jerk, you have no idea how much ..." she sniffed with a trembling voice full of rage and frustration. The sadness in her eyes usually so bright was breaking Kate's heart. She approached Lanie slowly.

« Lanie…I'm sorry for saying this, but….you guys broke up. She said, very softly, as she didn't want Lanie to get mad again. But Lanie didn't care about her soft voice, and gave her a surprised look.

« So you're taking his side, now ?! » she barked.

« Of course I'm not…But things have been so confused between you lately…I'm just saying, maybe Javier is confused too… »

Lanie ran her fingers under her eyes to wipe away her latest tears and sniffed loudly.

"Confused, please... He didn't look confused at all, when he was flirting with that...Asiatic bitch."

Kate's eyes widened.

"Lanie, don't be unfair. She didn't do anything to be insulted like that, and you know it."

Lanie bit her lips and didn't answer anything.

"You should talk to Esposito." Kate added. "He's not a jerk and you know it…otherwise you wouldn't be crying right now… Am I right?"

Lanie rolled her eyes and sniffled again.

"Please…I'm not crying…Besides you talk like I'm still in love with him..."

Kate arched an eyebrow and kept looking at Lanie. When she realized Kate was still eying her, Lanie looked up and rolled her eyes again.

"Okay…maybe I am…a little."

Kate's eyes widened again.

"A little? Girl, you're still crazy about him."

Lanie sighed and shook her head.

"I don't wanna talk about this. Actually…I don't wanna talk at all. I had a tough day and I'm tired…So I appreciate you're here, but, I really want to be alone right now."

Kate shook her head.

"I'm not leaving you like that…you're so upset, and…" she started, but Lanie didn't let her finish and touched Kate's arm.

"Girl, don't worry about me…I'm fine...I'm just tired. All I'm gonna do is take a hot bath and go to bed."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Kate stared at her friend, and although slightly annoyed, eventually accepted her decision. Anyway, she knew it would be hard to change Lanie Parish's decision. Without a word, Kate leaned over and hugged her tenderly.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" she whispered, while stroking Lanie's black long hair.

« Okay. »

« And stop crying », Kate added just before kissing Lanie's cheek. The beautiful M.E laughed and nodded.

Kate smiled one last time at her friend, then left her apartment.

By walking in the hallway, head down, and dreamy, Kate didn't even notice the silhouette who was walking just in front of her, in the opposite direction.

"Beckett? "

Kate looked up. None other than Javier Esposito.

« You again ? » She glared at him, stopping in front of him in the middle of the hallway.

"Gotta talk to Lanie."

Kate sighed and slowly shook her head.

"Espo…I don't think it's a good idea…She asked me to leave because she didn't wanna talk."

« Well maybe she didn't wanna talk to YOU, but I know she will agree to talk to me. » he retorted.

« Hey ! » she reacted, patting his arm.

« How is she ? »

« Let's say you're lucky she's not having her autopsy tools with her… » she joked.

Esposito smiled.

« Well, she's still having knives in her kitchen… » he added, still smiling.

Kate slightly smiled and rolled her eyes.

« Fine. Go talk to her. But if you hurt her again… »

« I know », he stopped her, « you'll kick my ass, break my legs, and so on…and you have no idea how scaaared I am right now. » he mocked her with a smile, as he started walking again.

Kate turned and watched him with a glare, but couldn't help and smile herself. Inside, she truly hoped things would get better beween them.

When she heard a knock at her door, Lanie Parish was sure of it, Kate Beckett had forgotten something. She left the bathroom and walked to the front door of her appartment. Most likely, Kate had forgotten her umbrella, though, after looking around, the M.E hadn't find it.

« Coming, Kate ! » she said, as she almost reached her hallway.

When she opened the door, she couldn't believe who was standing in front of her, as her heart skipped a beat. That person wasn't Kate at all.

Her mouth opened in surprise as her eyes widened.

« What are you doing here. » she barked after a few seconds, without even looking at him.

« Can I come in ? » he softly asked.

« No. » she quickly answered, looking up at him.

Javier rolled his eyes.

« Lanie, please. Won't be long. »

He put his massive hand on the doorknob and Lanie knew that he could easily push the door, to enter her apartment ... But he didn't, and wouldn't. He had too much respect and kindness and that' what attracted her the most at first, in addition, of course, to his dazzling eyes and smile.

A few seconds later, Lanie sighed and stepped away from the door to let him enter.

"Thanks."

He had already made a few steps in the living room when she closed the door behind them.

Watching her approaching him, Javier noticed she had taken the time to change her clothes, and was now wearing black leggings and a blue sweater, the one she particularly loved to sleep comfortably. But she hadn't removed her makeup yet, probably due to lack of time. While he was gazing hungrily at her, Lanie stood in front of him and folded her arms. She knew the way he looked at her by heart, and suspected that if they were still together, he would have jumped on her and hungrily kissed her already. Lanie softly shook her head and tried to chase the nice memories from her mind, as she started speaking.

« Okay, I'm listening. »

« You cried ? » he asked, as he noticed the redness under her eyes.

« Allergy to my makeup. »

He smiled.

« You always use hypoallergenic stuff."

« Why are you here ?! »

He was already getting on her nerves.

« To listen to you. » he answered. « I'm not the one having some explaining to do, Lanie…you are. »

She arched her eyebrows.

« Excuse me ? »

« You dumped me and acted like you didn't want to be with me anymore for months…Remember ? Then tonight you make a scene when you see me with a girl in a restaurant, while knowing we are not exclusive anymore? Sorry but I'm lost here. »

« You're right. » she started, biting her lower lip. « I shouldn't have said that... Now that things are clear, you can go. »

« Wow, Lanie, Stop ! » he laughed, raising a hand.

« This is way too easy. »

« Okay, what do you wanna hear, Javi ? That I was jealous ?! Well, you know what ? I WAS Jealous. Happy, now ? » she barked again. But her cold and angry tone didn't upset him. He just shrugged, still very calm.

« Well if you really were, that's a start. »

« What do you mean it's a start. » she sighed. He was so irritating tonight.

« I'm saying, that maybe, we can start having a conversation..People aren't jealous if there isn't any reason to be, Lanie… » he softly added. But Lanie was so upset at the moment, she could have slapped him.

« Okay, stop it. » she retorted as she started walking in her living room to calm her down.

« Now leave me alone. Go find your Michelle Yeoh Date and just…forget me. »

Javier couldn't help but started laughing.

"Wait…She doesn't look like Michelle Yeoh at all." He smiled.

"Wasn't my point." she sighed.

"Just saying." He shrugged.

"Please, Javier…Go find your girlfriend and…just go, I'm tired."

"Told you, she's not my girlfriend."

"Your future girlfriend, then."

"Nope." He shook his head again. "Actually, we talked a lot and she saw that I wasn't really…free. That I had someone else in mind. She's a smart girl you know."

"Good for her." Lanie mocked.

It was crazy how cold she could be sometimes... but weirdly, she always had attracted him when she was angry like that.

"Yep…And if you wanna know…"

"I don't wanna know..."

"We talked a lot about the girl I have in mind…We talked a lot about you", Javier finished, ignoring her, and after a few seconds, she looked up at him. Her eyes were softer now, and the way he was looking at her almost made her melt like hot chocolate.

After a few seconds of staring at each other, Lanie started talking again, trembling.

"Javi…" she started, but Esposito approached her and didn't let her finish.

"You know how I feel about you, Lanie. How I still feel about you." He whispered, and she had to close her eyes not to start crying. She was so angry, and upset, and tired, and he was there now, talking to her with his softest voice…Now she was completely lost, too.

Trying not to look at him, Lanie silently prayed for him to stop there. But he didn't. And after stepping closer, he started to gently caress her cheek. Lanie turned her head a little, trying to avoid it, but the soft touch of his thumb stopped her. His face was so close, now, that she could feel him breathing as he was invading her personal space.

"Lanie, look at me." Javier whispered, still touching her cheek.

As she didn't, Esposito came closer and started breathing in her ear.

"You know I'm still crazy about you…" he whispered, and every single part of Lanie's body shivered.

"Javi, please, stop…" she muttered.

"I don't wanna stop."

« You and I…it was a bad idea anyway… » she had, with a broken voice.

Esposito looked up at her and frowned.

« What the hell ? Okay, maybe it wasn't supposed to last when we started it, and we were just havin' a good time…but you know just like me, that it's way bigger than that now. We were good together, Lanie…and you know it. »

« I don't know.. » she stammered, still looking away from him. Now, she was doubting.

« Of course you do. » he whispered back, now caressing her chin with his soft yet powerful fingers.

« You know you'd never stayed that long with me, if you didn't have feelings for me too. Why is it so hard to admit it ? »

« Javi, shut up please… » she whispered as she put her hand on his torso, to fight him off. But she couldn't.

« Just…don't ask me why. » she added, with an almost silent voice, still her hand on his chest.

« You know I'm right… » he breathed again, approaching his face so much that he was now brushing her nose.

But before his lips brushed hers, Lanie stepped back.

« You say you still love me…and that's why Kate told me you were drooling in front of that girl since you started the case? » she started getting angry again, and totally surprised Esposito with her cold tone, since they were almost about to kiss. Javier frowned and stepped back too, removing his hand from her cheek.

« Not gonna lie to you, Lane…She's a gorgeous and smart girl…And you kept pushing me away for weeks…I'm human, you know… »

"No kidding. "Lanie laughed, pushing him with her hand more forcefully this time. She moved away from him, annoyed by his explanations, which wasn't Esposito's goal, as he only wanted to be honest with her, and fix things. Now Lanie was pacing in her living room to try to calm down a little.

« Did you sleep with her ? » she abruptly asked a few seconds later, turning to him

« Lanie, I told you we're not together. » he sighed, starting to get irritated with their conversation.

« Well…there's no need to officially be with someone or even have strong feelings, to have sex. »

« Oh yeah, you mean like us since you dumped me, right ?! » He was so hurted that Lanie didn't actually care that much about their relationship.

« I didn't say that. » she shook her head.

« Yeah, but you meant it and it's worst… anyway I didn't sleep with Scarlet. »

« Just because you didn't have enough time to do it, right ? What if Kate and I didn't interrupted your date? »

Javier rolled his eyes, in a deep sigh.

« Okay, honestly ? Yes, I could have slept with her tonight…But damn, Lanie ! Why do you even care ?! » he was starting to yell now, and Lanie could feel a shiver running her spine. She wasn't used to hear him yelling like that, not even the night they broke up.

« Don't you listen to me ? I'm here tonight to tell you that I don't care about this girl, and that for two years now, I only want you…but you don't care and keep telling me that you don't want to have anything serious with me, and when I TRY to forget you with someone else, you make a scene and yell at me like I did something wrong ? It's starting to get incredibly ridiculous now… » he laughed, bitterly.

« If it's THAT ridiculous why are you even here ?! I didn't ask you to come. » she barked, irritated.

He bitterly laughed again.

« Seriously…You're not tired to always push me away with stupid reasons ?! »

« Stupid reasons ?! » she repeated as her eyes widened.

« Hell yes. If we are here today, it is only because of you."He added, still cold and frustrated, pointing an accusing finger at her. Shocked, Lanie opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

« Okay, go away. » she finally added, folding her arms again, and not looking at him.

"What do you think, Lanie...That I'll watch you throwing me away like that again for years? Letting you using me for a night from time to time when you want some good time, and sweeping me of your life without explanation the next day, when it suits you? Gonna be honest, at first I thought I could handle it, because all I wanted was to keep being with you no matter what.. I loved you too much to imagine and accept that we were dead... And when you more or less suggested we could continue to see eacher other from time to time after we broke up, you have no idea how happy you made me... But now I can't do it anymore. Because it's clear that you don't want my love and this situation is destructive to me. » He concluded in a hoarse voice.

Silence fell again for almost a minute. Lanie had lowered her head and eyes, and couldn't move, as if frozen by his words.

As she wasn't answering anything, and as he was sadder than angry, Javier, who was devouring her with his eyes, sighed, and took a step toward her.

« Baby… »

« Leave me. Please. » she cut him off with a trembling voice, still without looking at him. She just couldn't. Not after all he told her. She wouldn't show it, but his words had broken her heart. Actually, she was angry at herself for being able to hurt him like that, and having treated him so badly because clearly, Javier Esposito didn't deserve this. Far from it.

Esposito stared at her a few seconds, gutted that she was actually, still pushing him away. After all he had said. After opening his heart like that. She just asked him to go without further explanation as he had unveiled his most intimate feelings.

With a latest sigh, he finally nodded.

« As you wish. » Hesurrendered. He took a few steps across the room, then stopped halfway and turned to her.

"But if I go, I just wanna make clear, that I won't go back. Never."

Lanie looked up at him after these words, a little surprised, and Javier could now distinguish fresh tears in her eyes. He looked at her with such intensity that a shudder ran through her spine, and she had to stop herself not to run to him and throw herself into his arms.

"I won't come back, because there's nothing to come back too." He added. "I won't, because I get to the end, Lanie. From what I can endure with you. I can sleep with you, but not BE with you…just like before. And I don't know why you decided to screw up our relationship like that, and I guess I'll never know…but since you don't want things to get fixed between us, I think it should stop for good ... " He explained, unwillingly.

Her desire to burst into tears burned her throat, but Lanie remained neutral and stoic.

"So to make things clear, if we put an end to…what we have, we'll never see each other again ... outside of work, I mean. It's already hard enough to forget you. "He confessed in a loss of voice.

Lanie was silent, stunned by his speech. As she kept being silent after a few seconds, Javier understood he had nothing more to expect from her, and without another word, but with a deep sigh of deception, Detective Esposito disappeared from her apartment. The door slammed and Lanie felt her heart drop. Without any strength, she slowly sank into the couch, pain clenching on her face. Other hot tears were soon to hit her cheeks, and Lanie completely fell on the couch, laying a trembling hand over her mouth to try to hide her moans.

**TBC**

**Nawww, broke my heart lol. Can't believe I wrote something like that..Poor Javi! Anyway, next and final chapter to come soon...Will Lanie change her mind?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello guys! thanks so much to the people who left reviews and followed the story...Means a lot! Esplanie fans rule the world ;)**

**Here's the last chapter :) Enjoy!**

* * *

_The next day ..._

Lanie took a deep breath before exiting the elevator with a firm step. She crossed the precinct hallway and reached Detective Ryan's desk in a few seconds. Kevin looked at her when he saw her approaching.

« Hey, Kevin » she softly smiled, as she keept walking forward, to the next desk…Javier Esposito's one.

He was there too, and he even had heard Lanie talking to Ryan. Since then, he was watching her approaching him, stoical. He hated himself for finding her so beautiful that day, and sighed, when she was finally in front of him.

« Hey… » she whispered.

"Yo. "Esposito absently replied, his eyes back on the newspaper he was reading.

« Beckett's out. »

« I know…I mean, I'm not here to talk to her…I'm here for you. » Lanie shyly answered. But he barely reacted, still reading the local newspaper.

« You're working so hard… » she joked, having noticed he was reading the sports section of the newspaper. But he still said nothing. Searching her words, the M.E spoke again a few seconds later.

« Listen…I know my visit wasn't planned, but…can I just talk to you five minutes ? »

Eventually, he looked at her again, and stared at her without moving a few seconds, before silently nodding and putting his newspaper back on his desk.

Lanie glanced around them. Kevin was playing the guy suddenly absorbed in his research, but she knew that Mr Gossip wouldn't missed a beat. But it wasn't worse than Captain Victoria Gates, who suspiciously stared at her through the blinds of her office.

"Somewhere more private, please?"

After a few seconds, Javier got up from his chair, still cold and indifferent.

Luckily, the break room number two was free. Esposito went inside first, leaving Lanie good care of closing the door behind them.

« I'm listening. » he said, folding his arms.

Lanie eyed her shoes and bit her lip. He was just so cold, that day, and his coldness wouldn't help her… But she knew she deserved it.

« First and foremost…I wanted to apologize for all the things I told you in the restaurant…and all I told you later at my place. », she started nervously manipulating her fingers. "I shouldn't have tell you all those things…" she added, looking at him so sincerely.

Javier softly nodded.

"Well…thanks for apologizing…Though if you really meant what you said, you don't have to."

Lanie rolled her eyes.

"Please, Javier. You know me, don't you? Of course I didn't mean it…You know how hard it is for me to say such things…"

Javier didn't answer anything, and let her finding her words, as he knew she wasn't finished.

« I barely slept, last night…Actually I didn't sleep at all…and I realized that you were right. » she admitted with a very soft voice. « I was unfair to you, and you didn't deserve that. I was wrong, since the beginning. »

« I didn't mean that, Lanie… »

« Yes and you were right. » she added. « You know seeing you with that girl just made me realized that I was about to lose you…and I freaked out, because I don't want to lose you. » she whispered with so much softness in her eyes that Esposito felt a shiver run through his body.

« Me neither, baby. »

He wasn't cold anymore. And, he didn't even control the endearment at the end. It was just so natural to call her like that, even after all that happened between them.

« If I was that angry last night, it's mostly because I remember you coming to me at Christmas, asking to spend the holiday together…and did you remember what I told you ? »

« That I'll just have to call you after the holidays. » he nodded.

She nodded back.

« Yes. And you didn't. Then a few weeks later, I see you with that beautiful girl and…it hurted me. »

At this moment, Esposito realized that, for the first time, he hurted her too.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She cut him. "Just made me understand that you could move on, and I know if you do, it's only because of me…" she stammered. « You know what we had, together…or what we still have…It means so much to me, and I don't want you to believe that I never cared about you because I do and it breaks my heart to realized how bad I hurted you. »

Lanie wasn't used to talk like that, even less in such a public place. Esposito knew it, and saw how she was struggling with her words and feelings. But he didn't talk, and kept listeling.

« The thing is…I'm scared to realize what we actually are for each other. »

A little surprised, Javier frowned, and Lanie kept going.

« I'm scared to get too close of you…we'll obviously suffer at some point. »

« Lanie… »

« Please let me finish…you were right, when you said I obviously had feeling for you. Of course I do, and if I didn't, I wouldn't even care seeing you with someone else in a restaurant… » she slightly laughed. « Anyway, last night was a shock for me…Everything you told me was so right…and even if I'm scared of the future… »

« You don't have to be scared » Esposito didn't let her finish, and took a step closer.

« Of course I do. You're a cop. You can get killed every day. »

Javier frowed again.

« So what…that's the reason you ended things with me ? »

« Not exclusively… »

« Then what else made you break up with me ? »

Lanie bit her lips again and shook her head.

« Let's say I've been hurt in the past…Several times…and I didn't wanna get in a serious relationship anymore or even fall in love after all that…well…Until we started dating… »

Esposito started smiling.

« Oh. Am I that irresistible ?! » he smiled and Lanie had to slightly smiled too, and she patted his arm.

"I'm serious. I don't wanna suffer anymore."

He shook his head.

"You won't with me."

Lanie rolled her eyes.

"How can you know that?! We never know what's gonna happen…Honestly, could you imagine, in the past, that you and I would even be dating, one day ? »

« Mm…Chica, there's a lot of stuff I always imagined about you and I, yes… » he said with a playful voice.

She smiled and shook her head again.

« I'm serious. »

« What ? It's a not a breaking news that I always fantasized about you at work…" he added, smiling.

"Okay then, bad example. But you got my point, and you know I'm right…We never know what's gonna happen. And I don't wanna find you on my autopsy table…That would kill me, you know."

Esposito shook his head.

"It won't happen…Have you seen me? Stronger than Captain America" he joked. "Nobody can hurt me."

Lanie had to laugh.

"Yeah, right…" she sighed, rolling her eyes. "How about that guy who gave you a black eye recently?

Espo rolled his eyes.

"That was nothing."

"Okay then…what about the time you almost got killed, strangled with a strap Leather?"

"Exception that proves the rule…" Esposito answered, rolling his eyes again. "Except this, nobody can hurt me. Well…no one except you." Javier whispered as he took another step closer.

He had slightly bend his head, and was a few inches away from her now. Even if she knew he was joking, Lanie couldn't help but feel bad.

"I know why you're saying this…Because I hurt you a lot."

"Yes you did hurt me... but It doesn't matter anymore."

"To me it does!" Lanie added.

"I'm just...an horrific person."

"Yah...well I'd say nefarious is a better word to qualify you…" Javier teased, but she didn't even smile.

« How can you even laugh about it ?! I'm so sorry, Javier. I never wanted to hurt you and screw everything between us… »

« I know. » he nodded, grabbing her hand.

"I know." he repeated.

Lanie lost her eyes in his for a few seconds as she remained silent. Finally, she spoke in a very soft voice.

"Listen...I know you told me yesterday that if you left, you would never come back ... But…do you think you could change your mind? Because I'd really love if... "

She couldn't finish her sentence, Esposito had brushed his lips on hers, and captured her face in his strong hands. He quickly deepened the kiss, and after a few long seconds of languorously kissing, Lanie giggled against his lips.

"I didn't finish my sentence. "She laughed, revealing her beautiful white teeth.

Esposito touched her forehead with his.

"What ... You weren't about to say" I'd really love if you kiss me right now ? » he whispered, brushing her nose with his.

Lanie licked her lips and shook her head.

« No. More like I'd really love to have a second chance…to give us a second chance…. »

Esposito looked up at the ceiling and pretended to think, as he wrapped his arms around Lanie's hips.

"Mm ... granted," he concluded, looking at her again. "And by the way, given the number of times you had thrown me away, I'd say it's actually your fiftieth chance…" he joked.

Lanie glared at him, but the huge smile on her lips reflected the fact that she wasn't angry at all.

"I was that mean ..."

"Yes, you were…" Esposito whispered just before kissing her again. "But you're lucky, Dr Parish, 'cause I'm having a good day and I forgive you ..." he added, releasing her lips a few seconds later, without removing his hands from her cheeks.

"And ... you're sure there's nothing between you and that girl? "

"Lanie ..." sighed Esposito removing his hands from her cheeks.

"Okay, sorry ... .forget it." She stammered eying the floor.

"I told you. There could have been something between us, yes…but she's nothing compared to you. I missed you so much, chica." He added as he leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

« Missed you too… » she said against his lips, before kissing him again passionately.

After a few minutes of hungrily kissing, Lanie laughed when she felt Esposito kissing her neck and whispering words so low in her ear, that she couldn't understand them all. When she felt one of his powerful hand pressing against her lower abdomen and lift her blouse, she let out a small groan.

« Wait… »

« what ? » He growled, licking the skin of her ear.

« We can't do that…I mean, not here. The door isn't even locked… » she stammered, as he was now licking and biting her neck.

Javier looked up and smiled, and kissed her tenderly on the lips again, still , without even breaking the kiss, Javier stepped back to the door, pulling her with him, and quickly closed the lock, always his lips against hers.

She smiled back against his mouth and put her hands around his neck. Then she let him guide her to the small sofa in the room. Lanie gently lay first, always stuck to Javier's lips, who tried to lay on her with delicacy. They couldn't stop kissing like two teenagers in the back of a car and Esposito took advantage and started to unbutton her shirt..

Suddenly, Lanie broke the kiss, interrupted by her phone vibrating in the pocket of her pants.

"Wait ..." she whispered as she pulled the phone out of her pocket, which acutally didn't stop Esposito who kept kissing her neck, tirelessely. Lanie unlocked her phone and read the text message she had just received, despite the fact that he was still worshipping her neck.

"Oh great ..." she smiled

"What? " he looked up at her.

"Gotta go back to the morgue…" she smiled to him.

Javier's eyes widened.

"And… that's a great news? You'd rather go back to work instead of…having fun here with me ? Ouch… »

Lanie rolled her eyes.

« Don't be silly…I'm in the middle of an autopsy… »

« That's how you call it? » Javier teased, leaning to kiss her again. But she stopped him, putting her fingers on his mouth.

« I had test running since this morning, and I just got the results…I have to go back to the morgue and finish studying the digestive organs or the corpse."

She stood up, pushing him away on the couch, and he sighed.

« You are SO romantic, Lanie Parish….» he quipped with a grin as she was buttoning her blouse.

"And you haven't seen anything yet…... " she answered with a charming voice. "See you tonight? "

« Sure thing. » he smiled, standing up from the couch as well.

« Then it's a date. » she smiled back.

She started walking to the door, but he grabbed her wrist.

« Wait, Lanie. »

« What ? »

He cleared his throat.

« With all that happened between us, lately…I think we should just…Take our time…and try to forget the past… »

Lanie's eyes widened.

« You mean….As if we just met ? »

Javier smiled.

« Not exactly…but maybe…keeping it as a secret, for a start ? I don't want you to be scared or feel rushed anymore…and I know that telling anyone can be a pressure…We have all the time of the world to let them know, right ? »

Lanie stared at him tenderly.

« You are so cute… » she stepped closer, and kissed him.

« Agreed. It'll be our secret. » she nodded.

« Good. And how about I take you out…dinner, next Friday ? »

Lanie's smile widened as she started feeling chills on her spine.

« Wait…next Friday…You mean, on Valentine's day ? »

« Valentine's day, are you sure ? » He frowned, smiling. Of course he knew what day it was, which made Lanie smiling even more.

« You are SO romantic, Javier Esposito. » she teased.

"And you haven't seen anything yet..." he answered, leaning to kiss her on the lips one more time.

« Come on… » she purred against his lips. « We should go… »

« Yeah. Pretty sure Ryan's gonna interrogate me as soon as I'm back. »

« He's worst than a girl… » Lanie laughed.

« That he is…So tonight, your place ? »

« I'll call you when I'm done. » she nodded, winking at him, before leaving the break room.

Javier Esposito remained silent and thoughtful a few seconds after that, a radiant smile on the lips. He was sure of it now, the path forward with Lanie Parish would be much less complicated.

**The End.**

**I needed an happy end for my babiiiies! lol. Actually, when they were sooo cute in 5x14 and Kate kinda told Rick that their date was a secret because it was so important for them, I really think they could have been back together secretly, just before this episode.**

**I hope you enjoyed it. Hope for more Esplanie next season! **


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